Everyone one puts out top lists; best songs, best artists, best album, best by genre. There is intense Public Relations jockeying to get artists listed on these year end wrap ups. The actual purpose of these listicles is entirely to dominate Search Engine Optimization for page listings for sites and for the aforesaid Public Relations shops to get back to their clients with placements to justify their fees.
Have some confidence people – you like what you like, not what someone else tells you to like. Check out your Spotify Wrapped (if you are a subscriber for a fun look at what you actually listened to.)
We of course hate ourselves for this year end list.
The Cult of Apple
Kinda a year-round thing. The whole if you have a non-Apple phone and your messages come up as “green boxes” in IOS devices is discrimination, this designed to clearly denote non-IOS users as outsiders – the in group vs. the out group. Apple is now a luxury brand existing on its pricing power. Fact – Nokia (Who remembers them?) had 49% of the global phone market share in 2007, Apple today has a 14% share and a declining sales trend.
To be fair – Apple’s marketing consistently breaks great newer music acts, Marian Hill and SHAED are a couple of our favorites that Apple put on the map. There is also the gem, “Taylor vs. Treadmill.”
The Grammy Nominations
The Recording Academy’s annual exercise in self-congratulation. Remember ladies, the current CEO told to you to “Step Up” to get more of your share of the award nominations and is alleged to have siphoned off dollars from its charity “MusiCares” to cover cost overruns from the Grammy Awards show.
Movie Award nominations are a hard follow to the Grammys. Over blown expressions of self-importance. Trumpism has revealed that Middle America despite being celebrity obsessed doesn’t care what celebrities have to say outside of entertainment. Sorry Mark Ruffalo – America really only cares about you in The Avengers.
New Year’s Eve
Really people – you are going to wake up January 1, 2019 the same person with the same bad habits. Your resolution to go to the gym more, eat healthier and save more money will last only a couple of weeks at most.
Who can forget DJ Khaled fueled by a ton of Weight Watchers money became the spokesman for its “Freestyle” program in January 2018. A man in search of a “New Me.”
Desus and Mero from Viceland savaged Khaled’s gambit in this video:
Clearly DJ Khaled did not achieve a “New Me,” but Weight Watchers gained more than $100 million in cash in the bank this year so – something worked.
We hate the forced jolliness of New Year’s Eve shows but are going to miss Mariah Carey stumbling around and badly lip syncing on Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin Eve. Christina Aguilera is a safe bet not to embarrass herself on this year’s broadcast.
Fake Emotional Holiday Commercials
Kay Jewelers and Zales carpet bomb America with mawkish commercials all November and December. Queue the tears and kisses. Seriously who buys this stuff? Pro-tip – Zales and Kay Jewelers are actually the same company.
Year End car commercials – really who buys their partner a new Audi for Christmas and puts a bow on it in the driveway? This year Audi tortured Santa and made him get into shape.
Can Toyota’s Jan please take a rest in her relentless year end car sales cheeriness, she is getting close to being as annoying as Progressives’ pitch woman “Flo.” No we don’t want a 2018 model right now, even with “Special Year End Clearance Pricing.”
One Year End commercial we did love was UK’s John Lewis & Partners commercial giving us the span of the incredible Elton John’s’ 50 + year career in 2:20.
Let’s just let the year end with a little of its dignity attached.