Amy Schumer has a whole new outlook on life as a married woman. 

The I Feel Pretty actress hosted Saturday Night Live this weekend and used the opportunity for a hilarious monologue about her life as a newly-married woman (she married chef Chris Fischer in February). 

“Some people are like what are you going to talk about now in your standup, all you talked about was getting railed,” the 36-year-old joked. 

“The way that my now husband proposed was so worthless. It was such a dumb proposal. It was morning, I was still asleep, he threw the box at me and said “I got you this.” 

“But that’s a realistic proposal,” she said, before poking at the women who are so shocked it seemed “you didn’t even know he liked you.”

Schumer also joked about how she and her friends are all getting married in their mid to late thirties. “Oh now, now you’re ready? Now that I probably can’t have kids?  You’re not in love, your tired, you’re tired. And I know all your passwords, that’s what’s happening.”

The comedian wasn’t just a bride in a thirty-something wedding, but she’s been a bridesmaid six times, too. 

“I’ve been a bridesmaid in six Long Island weddings,” she said. “And there’s something a little bit sad about being a bridesmaid in your late 30s … you’re just standing in that line of bridesmaids hoping you don’t have the biggest arm.”

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Watch the monologue above. 


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